Things Left Behind
by Mira Westing
Summary: Rogue's new roomie provides an illuminating glimpse into Logan's past.
1. Default Chapter

Left Behind  
  
  
  
  
  
  
She was a solid student, drawn to the arts but not afraid to tackle more conventional subjects. She was quiet in a pensive sort of way -- the kind of quiet that is initially disconcerting to almost everyone. She was polite, kind, and all those little things that propelled the average person out of mediocrity. But most of all, she was there. And Being there - Xavier's school for the Gifted - meant that she was a part of something, a member of a group. They were all unique but hey were unique together.  
  
Scarlett Amara Winoa was glad to finally have somewhere to belong. She was not quite twenty yet but she had been on the run for over seven years when she, at long last, hitched her wagon at the school. Now she had six scheduled classes, three guaranteed meals a day, and a cozy, comfortable room that she shared with only one other person. She even had friends. It was the kind of life of which Scarlett had never dared dream.  
  
There was little time to devote to regretting the past and Scarlett was thankful for that fact. There were things that she was afraid of but she took comfort in knowing that they were all behind her.  
  
Or, at least, so she thought.  
  
"Scarlett, you're gonna be late for history. Miss Monroe won't like that. Stop lolly-gagging."  
  
Rolling her eyes, Scarlett descended the stairs to meet her room mate and de facto best friend. "You never, ever used the word 'lolly-gagging' before today. You're definitely stretching this Southern Belle thing a little too far, Marie."  
  
"You've got the mysterious thing goin' for you. I've got the Southern thing. We use what works." Rogue grabbed her friend's hand in her own gloved one. "Come ON. The sooner we get there, the sooner we get out."  
  
Scarlett raised a misleadingly delicate brow. "I beg to differ, my dear, hopeful girl. The day Storm lets us out two seconds before the strike of two o'clock is the day I eat your hood."  
  
"This might just bee your lucky day." Rogue grinned happily and strode through the classroom door.  
  
Too happily. Obviously, Scarlett was out of the loop. "Hey - what do you know that I don't?"   
  
"Let's just say that there might be someone I want you to meet after class."  
  
"Sounds ominous," Scarlett whispered as she slid into her assigned seat. Rogue sat beside her as Storm began her lesson: day five of the fall of the Roman Empire.  
  
True to prediction, the lecture was ended and dismissed almost ten minutes early - a veritable coup all things considered. Scarlett eyed Rogue cautiously but allowed the young woman to half lead, half drag her out of the classroom.  
  
Storm stopped them at the door. "He's with the Professor." Rogue smiled her thanks and continued to pull Scarlett along behind her.  
  
"He? Wait! We're hustling for some guy?! Marie, he'd better be awfully cute."  
  
"Be serious."  
  
"I'm dead serious." But she was not. Everyone knew that Scarlett did not date. She had plenty of male friends but any boy who had tried for anything beyond friendship had been gently rebuffed from Scarlett's very first day at the school. There had been numerous attempts to change her MO. So far, none had been successful. Although Rogue was almost certain Scarlett was heterosexual, even she had not found the nerve to ask her friend about the peculiar behavior. It probably was not worth the effort. There were things that Scarlett simply did not talk about. Rogue understood.  
  
"He's a old friend, Scarlett. You'll like him."  
  
"Oh -of course." But she had no time for sarcasm as Rogue thrust her through the open door of Professor Xavier's office.  
  
Jean Grey, Scott Sommers, the Professor and another man already waited inside. Rogue threw herself into the third man's arms and Scarlett froze in her tracks.  
  
"Logan." Scarlett wondered vaguely if the word had come from her own mouth or from Rogue's. Her's she decided hastily seeing the unusual looks both Ms. Grey and Mr. Sommers were sending her.  
  
"Mara." At least he seemed as stunned as she.  
  
"Scarlett," she corrected. Updated.  
  
"You two know each other," the Professor supplied.  
  
"How observant." Her tone was caustic. Scarlett winced but did not apologize to the Professor.  
  
"Still a bitch, I see."  
  
Anger. Scarlett felt it radiate from him. Anger - hot, wet, all-consuming and oh-so-very-Logan. His anger she could manage. "And you're still a turn-on in the teenage set," she gestured to Marie who, in the confusion, had yet to let go of Logan. "Some things never change."  
  
Point. Set. Match. From experience, Scarlett knew she was at the end of her winning streak. She was quick on her feet, quicker than him, but without the element of surprise, she was a lamb to slaughter. So she did what she knew for sure she did the best.  
  
Scarlett turned and ran.  
  
All eyes focused on Logan who had managed to dislodge himself from the stunned Marie. He shrugged. "We've met before."  
  
  
_______________________________________________________  
  
  
The adults expelled Marie from the office almost immediately. No surprise there. The real surprise lay in how quickly they regained their wits. Scott poked his head out the door and spotted Rogue where she waited. "Could you...."  
  
"Find her?"  
  
"That sounds good."  
  
  
  



	2. Chapter two

Three sets of eyes stared holes into Logan. Or rather, two sets and Cyclops. Luckily, the holes stuff wasn't literal.  
  
"I don't see how my sex life is any of your concern," he said casually.  
  
"Sex. Life." Scott rolled the words across his tongue. "Your. Sex. Life."  
  
Logan leaned in closer to Jean. "He okay?"  
  
"*He's* fine," she sputtered. "Dear God, Logan, she's eighteen."  
  
Without thinking, he corrected her. "Nineteen." Something told him that remembering Mara's birthday hadn't won him and points with this particular group."  
  
"She's a child." Even the Professor sounded awed. In a bad way. Bummer.  
  
"She's a drifter. So am I. We met, we liked each other, and so we drifted together for awhile." Maybe a little simplistic but, essentially, it was the truth. The cold, callous, well-rehearsed truth.  
  
"You had sex with her?"  
  
Logan raised an eyebrow at Scott. "Did someone lobotomize him since I left?"  
  
"Is that a yes?"  
  
"You jealous, Jean?" This was going badly. He had no business discussing this with them. He ought to have gone after Mara. She, at least, he owed an explanation.  
  
"Answer the question."  
  
He sighed. "Yes. I had sex with her. Happy?"  
  
"More than once?"  
  
"We were together for a year. And don't ask me how many time 'cause I didn't count." Three hundred and six times. A man was still allowed to lie.  
  
Ororo chose that exact moment to make her entrance. "This doesn't look like a homecoming."  
  
"Logan slept with Scarlett Winoa," Scott supplied.  
  
"She and Rogue left my classroom only five minutes ago."  
  
"Not today." A growl built slowly inside Logan but he held it in.  
  
Apparently, he was not the only angry member of the meeting. "Before she got here," Scott bit.  
  
"Oh." If possible, Ororo looked less happy about the revelation than Logan. "Oh."  
  
"As much as I love the idea of everyone sitting in judgment of me as a group, I have someone to talk to," Logan growled. He turned.  
  
Scott grabbed his upper arm. "No. You stay away from her."  
  
"Listen, Cyclops-"  
  
Jean's soft but insistent voice interrupted. "Logan, she didn't seem thrilled to see you. At least, wait. Let's all," she placed a hand on Scott's shoulder, "all give her a chance to be alone. Rogue will take care of her."  
  
"They're friends?" Logan's voice was taunt but his body-language said he accepted her statement. She nodded. "I'll go unpack." I'm not leaving, he sneered silently. Can't get rid of me now.  
  
_________________________________________________________________  
  
  
  
If running was her strong suit, hiding was far from the best of her abilities. Rogue found Scarlett sitting, listlessly in the middle of her own bed. This is my best friend, Rogue though reverently, and she is in pain. The danger signs were all there - this could turn out messy.  
  
Rogue studied the unmoving woman on the bed. A little older than herself, Scarlett had always seemed so world-wise. World-weary it now was evident. But by simple appearance, she looked just like any other teenager. Sweetly but not drastically pretty. Long strawberry blonde hair that could probably use a cut. Large soft blue eyes, doe eyes. Full lips - too big really. Scarlett was slight with a tad bit too much breast and too little hip. If asked to describe her, Rogue would have said that Scarlett had great legs and the best crooked smile on Earth. But, overall, she was just like any other girl. Sadder. Quieter. Nicer, maybe.  
  
"Hey."  
  
"Hey."  
  
"You don't have to eat my hood."  
  
A wry smile curled one side of Scarlett's mouth. "Good to hear." There was a moment of silence as Scarlett formulated the question they both knew she had to ask. "Marie...you and Logan-"  
  
"Friends. Just friends." Scarlett nodded and Rogue plunged on. "But you two..."  
  
"It was different...out there. Here is safe but...before, I'd never been safe before..."  
  
"Before Logan."  
  
"Maybe. I don't know. It just happened, you know?" A heavy sigh. "They're all talking about it, aren't they?"  
  
Rogue grimaced. For a private person this would be hell. "Probably. They want to protect you."  
  
"From Logan? They're about two years too late."  
  
Taking a seat on the edge of Scarlett's bed, Rogue ventured, "Would you have accepted their help then?"  
  
Scarlett rolled her eyes "No. Does it matter that I don't really want it now?"  
  
"Ummm...no."  
  
For a moment the girls simply stared at one another. Then, slowly, they dissolved into weary giggles. "Marie, I don't want to be around when this little meeting breaks up. Can we-?"  
  
"Any movies you wanna see?"  
  
"We don't have permission to leave. We'll get in trouble."  
  
Shrugging, Rogue pulled Scarlett to her feet. "Let's risk it."  
  



	3. Conversations

Chapter Three  
  
  
"Well, where the hell IS she?" Logan angry was formidable. Logan left to stew in his own anger was a powder keg better left corked.  
  
This Storm knew. "You promised the Professor you would wait to talk to Scarlett."  
  
"And I will but I want to know where she is."  
  
"She'll be back soon, Logan."  
  
"Do you know that? Really?! She's a drifter, Ororo. Running's easier for her than staying."  
  
Storm studied the man across the room from her. He'd been unpacking but most of his few belongings were scattered across the suite. What she knew of him lead her to believe that he was being uncomfortably honest. He knew that Scarlett was safer at the school than she would be anywhere else. And, surprisingly, he seemed to truly want the girl to be safe. "If she isn't back by midnight, we'll go looking for her."  
  
"Thanks." There was no grudging in his tone.  
  
Although she had been charged with keeping an eye on him, Storm headed for the door. She paused just before exiting. "Is there anything I can get for you?"  
  
"Can you turn back time?"  
  
She smiled, appreciating his humor. "No."  
  
"Then, I'll be okay."  
  
  
___________________________________________________  
  
  
The front room was always abandoned after eleven. there was no hard and fast rule but Scarlett had found that she could depend on that fact. Time alone was no easy to come by in a school for mutants so Scarlett stole what time she needed during the late night hours. At exactly 2:26 AM Scarlett sunk into the oversized armchair under the primary picture window overlooking the front grounds. It was her usual place; she had never been interrupted there.  
  
At least, never before.  
  
"You're too skinny, Mara. Don't they feed you here?"  
  
She didn't jump at his voice. Perhaps she half expected it. "I've gained five kilos since I last saw you."  
  
"Looks good on you."  
  
Even an off-handed compliment from Logan was unexpected to Scarlett. It threw off her rhythm. "You look the same."  
  
"Do I?"  
  
She nodded. "Pretty much."  
  
There was a long pause. Scarlett inspected the chipped icicle blue paint on her toenails, waiting for Logan to speak. Finally, he took her silent invitation. "How are you?"  
  
She considered for a few moments wanting to be honest but not too candid. "Happy to be here."  
  
"Good." Again the silence stretched out almost unbearably between them. "You have every right to hate me."  
  
"Good to hear."  
  
The pause was shorter this time but no less significant. Logan stole a short glance at her. As of yet, neither of them had really looked at the other. "It wasn't safe. For me to stay with you. You'd have gotten hurt."  
  
"Well - good thing we managed to avoid that one entirely." But her sarcasm lacked the bite she would have liked. Somehow she felt he was telling the truth, in part, at least.  
  
"Mara, I'm a dangerous man."  
  
"And you never made me any promises," she finished for him.  
  
"I wasn't going to say that." He sounded contrite.  
  
She shrugged. "But it's true." On the road, no one made promises.   
  
Tactfully, he declined to give a reply to her comment. "I should have-"  
  
"It's done. It's been done for some time now. I'd rather just...stop talking about it."  
  
Logan almost smiled. "I doubt we'll be afforded that luxury." Slowly, gracelessly, he reached out one hand, placed two fingers under his chin and pushed up gently. Her eyes met his. "Do you hate me?"  
  
Turning her head, Scarlett once again avoided his gaze. "I don't know. A little, maybe." She sighed. "Does it matter?"  
  
"On a grand scale: no."   
  
"There you go." Scarlett rolled her eyes. Typical Logan. Truthful and hurtful. "I need to get to sleep. I have classes tomorrow." She stood and started for the door, her bare feet padding quietly on the wooden floor.  
  
Logan let her get a full ten feet away before asking, "Why did you change your name, Mara?"  
  
She turned, her blonde hair moving with her, half obscuring her face. "I didn't. No one ever called me 'Mara' but you."  
  



	4. Thoughts

Chapter three  
  
  
  
Scarlett skipped all of her classes the next day, sighting a mild stomach flu. It was far from the truth but everyone seemed to feel that even thin excuses were enough for the moment. If nothing else, Logan's return afford Scarllet a fair amount of space that she would not have had otherwise. Only Rogue had dared approach her in 24 hours and Scarlett appreciated the thoughtfulness of her fellow students and teachers.  
  
But the time alone left her with an unexpected problem. For as long as she had been at the school, Scarlett had managed to avoid thinking of the past. Now, it was all that she could do.  
  
And Logan was her past.   
  
Not all of it, of course. Perhaps not even the most important part of it. But he was what she kept returning to in the endless whirlpool of her troubled mind. Not the parents who had abandoned her on the side of Highway 103, three months after her mutations had begun to manifest themselves. Not the years of solitude and loneliness she had chosen over the violence she was sure she would face if she allowed others to know her. Not, even, those happy, sunny years when she had been just like any other pretty, privileged daughter of a rich family.  
  
Just Logan. A year of Logan. That damned mobile home that he could never manage to keep clean. The nights of watching him fight any number and manner of wretched humanity just to feed himself and her. Cages and flannel. Whiskers and truck stops. His bad attitude and her need to make him happy.  
  
None of it came to any good end. It couldn't have. He said so the first time he met her. Exact words, "I'm trouble, Little Girl. Haven't you got somewhere else to be?"  
  
It was she who seduced him that first time. Not out of love, or lust even. Desperation, maybe. She'd known from the start that he'd be a meal ticket. Something she could count on, believe in. She hadn't expected to fall in love and she hated herself when she did. She'd never spoken those words to him but he'd probably known all the same. Logan started as her crutch and ended up being her whole reason for being.  
  
Leaving her was the best thing that he'd ever done for her. People, all people, but especially mutants, could not afford to invest that much in each other. She'd mourned him but she'd emerged a fuller, stronger person. Logan gave her that. Even if he'd only meant to rid himself of a nagging problem, Logan had given Scarlett her greatest power - the ability to rely on herself. She grew from there. Really, truth be told, she wasn't the same girl she'd been in his bed, in his arms. In truth, she was someone else entirely.  
  
She liked that about herself.  
  
Love, she knew, wasn't something that one grew out of in only a few days. Not a year. Perhaps, not a lifetime. Because as much as Scarlett hated Logan, she loved him.  
  
It was as comforting as it was disturbing.  
  
  
  
______________________________________________________________  
  
  
"Did you love her?" Jean had avoided Logan as long as she dared. She knew that he had talked to Scarlett by now, she hoped that he had found some sort of peace in their conversation.  
  
Logan shrugged. "Will you believe anything I say?"  
  
She answered honestly, "Yes."  
  
"I loved her enough to want to keep her safe from me."  
  
"That's quite a lot."  
  
Again the shrug. "Not enough. I shouldn't have let her..."  
  
"Let her what?"  
  
He sighed. Jean Grey was a great woman but she didn't deserve the words that, by all rights, belonged to Mara. "This is the best place for her."  
  
"But not you?"  
  
"That remains to be seen."  
  
"She's an amazingly strong girl, Logan. Your shouldn't base your decisions on her."  
  
Logan chuckled. What could she understand? "Did you ever hurt someone who deserved better?"  
  
"She got over it."  
  
"Look closer, Jean. She covered it well but it's there."  
  
Jean placed her hand gently on Logan's shoulder. "A girl never forgets her first love."  
  
"Neither," Logan intoned significantly, "does a man."  
  
  



End file.
